About You
If you’ve ever been picked last for kickball
If you’ve ever been ghosted on a date
If you’ve ever failed a grade but were told you were "Held Back" - THIS is the brand for you.
If you’ve never been swole
Never sat at the cool kids table
Never been "This tall to ride"
If your hair style has never been in style
If you’re not tall, dark, OR handsome
If you still have mix tapes
If you can’t tie a knot
If you regularly use expired coupons
If you’ve tried multilevel marketing
If you’re shorter than your wife
If you still miss the bus
If you tuck in your shirt
If you wear too much cologne
If you can’t grow a beard - THIS is the brand you've been waiting for.
If you don’t know what bangs are
If you still use MySpace and post regularly
If you know all the words to the song Convoy
If you still write Christmas letters
If you’re 28 and still secretly order off the Kids Menu
If you think Chucky Cheese pizza is “great” - YOU'RE part of our tribe.
If you still think seltzer is "cool"
If your car has an ash tray AND a cassette player
If you still print out directions on Mapquest - I SEE YOU.
If your weekend plans include watching DVDs from the library and/or playing Dungeons and Dragons
If your bedtime is 9 o’clock on New Year’s Eve
If you leave Super Bowl parties at halftime
If you rollerblade
If you’ve seen Bigfoot - YOU'RE our kind of people.
If your quote for the college yearbook was from - yourself
If you listen to Air Supply
If you part your hair in the middle
If you’ve ever "beaten" Space Invaders, received a wedgie, or been cut from the Fencing Team
If you joined Future Business Leaders of America in high school but never led anything
If every company you’ve ever launched has turned into a non-profit
If you’ve ever self-published - YOU are Inferior material.
If you still use a flip phone
If you eat sloppy joes
If you’ve ever attended a Wiggles concert
If you tried karate
If you sell candles
If you’ve ever considered buying a hot tub
If your voice message includes the words "Leave a message at the tone"
If you call back telemarketers
If you’re an extrovert but SAY you’re an introvert because you don’t have any friends
If your college diploma major says Undecided
If you’ve got 3 versions of your resume and all of your "References" are guys from the gym
If your Zoom background is still set to “Blurry” then I’ve got just one thing to say to you - Welcome Home.
If you own a Lifetime Pass to Comic-Con
If you Christmas shop on Craigslist
If you’re still part of someone’s "Down Line"
If you insist on using Times New Roman for Every. Single. Document.
If your home is decorated in Early Quarantine
If you let your Neopet die
If you still use the Metric System
If you voted for Pedro
If your favorite restaurant is Roy Rogers
If you have a tractor and think it’s sexy
If you go to Buc-ee’s for date night
If you listen to Barbershop
If they told you to "Go Big or Go Home" and you went home
If you’ve ever said the words WhatChuTalkinBoutWillis
Then pull up a chair.
You’re on our team now.
You’ve found your tribe.
We’ve got your back.
As we say around here, “If the shirt fits we messed up wear it.”
Welcome to Inferior.
The participation trophy of brands.
Welcome Home.